While hanging out at my local cafe/newsstand, I came across two interesting premier publications. Both were magazines supporting industrial Hemp use. One looked kind of like a zine, simply back and white printed on paper, and the other looked like a Life and Style supplement you would pull out of your Sunday paper. Both magazines contained information and advertising on the current Hemp Industry, with a focus on clothing.
The interesting thing about these two magazines is that they both featured Woody Harrelson on the cover and corresponding stories inside. Apparently, Woody is a big Hemp supporter. In his free time he works with hemp cultivation cooperatives and helps lobby state legislators to push his cause.
Now, nothing personal against Woody Harrelson, I think it is great he is supporting a cause he believes in. But this is Woody, the dimwitted bartender at Cheers. Even though Woody is the nicest guy, he has always seemed a few lemons short of a Tom Collins, if you know what I mean. It makes things all the worse when the character of Woody on Cheers is nearly identical to Woody Harrelson of real life. With hundreds of Cheers episodes etched into the minds of nearly all Americans, it is virtually impossible for Woody to escape the image of being a guy who just didn't have that high of a brain capacity.
But Woody is nothing compared to Mickey Knox. The only thing more unforgettable than Woody's Cheers character is his role as the psychopathic Mickey in Natural Born Killers. We always knew Woody was a little off his rocker, but we never knew the full extent until we saw him in Killers. He even munches on murderous rampage inducing psychedelic mushrooms. I'm sure pot was his "gateway" drug. I think the progression of Woody's sanity can be traced pretty easily by looking at his acting career.
So here is Woody, supporting the use of Hemp for industrial purposes. But c'mon, we all know all those people who support Industrial Hemp use have ulterior motives, namely, the legalization of marijuana so they can support their pot habit. Industrial Hemp use? The notion is almost laughable. What's next, are they "going to be making clothes out of Cocaine next?", as one concerned parent recently asked Addidas in regards to their new shoe, "The Hemp."
I just don't think Woody is the best spokesman for the Hemp movement. I mean, I certainly wouldn't want to try pot, look what it did to Woody! First it made him a dimwit, then it made him a fuckin' psycho! Something is amiss in the Hemp legalization movement, and I smell conspiracy. Who directed Natural Born Killers? That's right. I bet you are beginning to grasp the full ramifications of the Woody Conspiracy, and how it is tied into the Grand Scheme for Planet Earth. I can only hope humans are smart enough to see through the reality-twists the Others have imposed on us.